Not Everything
by Alexeij
Summary: Bullshitting his way through dumb Seekers has never been so enetertaining. Our Dwarf knows MUCH more than he's spilled to the Seeker. Really, he does. Cross-Party banter, LOTS of cameos and AU background.


_Not Everything_

_by_

_Alexeij_

_"So that's it. That's the whole story"_

_"Then Meredith provoked the Circle. She was to blame."_

_"Or that damn idol was. Or Anders. Take your pick."_

_"Even so, had the Champion not been there..."_

_"It might never have even gone that far"_

_"I see"_

_"So how is hearing all this going to help? You've already lost all the Circles. In fact, haven't the Templars rebelled as well? I thought you decided to abandon the Chantry and hunt the mages, Seeker"_

_"Not all of us desire war, Varric. Please, if you know where the Champion is, you must tell me. She is a hero, a woman the mages would listen to, someone who was there at the beginning. The Champion my stop this madness before it's too late. She may be the only one who can."_

_"Is that what this is all about?" Silence "In that case, I wish I could help you"_

_"Just tell me one thing then. Is the Champion dead?"_

_"Oh, I doubt that"_

_**Arlathan Forest, 9:40**_

"Easy, Hook. I like my nose where it is. Not that I meant to pry or anything" Varric dislodged the shaft from the tree trunk just inches from his face and twirled it.

"its' Nathaniel, Varric" groaned the Warden. He slowly unbent his blue-striped bow and lowered it against the musk-covered fallen trunk. Despite his pink cheeks, his grey eyes warily checked their surroundings before he turned his attention back to the dwarf. A chuckle escapes Varric's lips.

"Afraid I had brought company, Hook? You seem to fare quite well in your current... predicament"

"_Varric!_"

"My apologies, Lady Sunshine" A deep bow, and Varric strode forward "I shall be on my way now. I believe I can find the camp on my own without your... _entanglement_" Another bow, a groan and a high squeak.

_'What a bad-mannered gentledwarf you have become, my dear Varric'_

"_Must be something in the air... demons, mayhems, cheap ale, Amaranthine spiced cheese... wait, what?"_

"Shave my ass and call me and elf, isn't that the beardless dwarfette?" A loud belch and the red-haired dwarf fell on his back

"Oghren, drown yourself in the keg for once! Varric, you seasick cheater, 'bout time you joined the crew. You still owe me that night of mind-blowing sex from Kirkwall!"

"Sorry, my dear, but my heart is already taken"

"And who was talking about your _heart_?"

"Oh, you _husky goddess..._" Varric grinned showing a line of white and golden teeth.

The pirate rolls her eyes and gags "Please, not _that..._"

"May I interest you in some of my fine _wares?_" purrs the tanned elf from the other side of the camp-fire.

"Oh Zevvy-boy, you are an anchor in the bellowing sea..."

"I never took you for a poet in the making, my dear"

"There is little she did _not _take, after all"

"Let's pretend you are still bent on your desk, Lady Man-Hands"

"You little cunt..."

Again, a chuckle escaped his lips. "Ladies, please, don't make me miss the Seekers. I take the Warden-Commander has returned as well?"

"Perceptive as always, you blond Teddy-Bear"

"isabela, you are probing dangerous waters..."

"No risk, no fun"

"What cap-whore is trying to conceive is that the Warden-Commander is right in Hawke's tent. They have been in there for a while, now"

"What fantasies you give me, captain-Ox..."

"Maybe the squishy female-things do not need their squishy mouths"

"Woof!"

"Ah, Archymedes, you too?!"

Varric cautiously circled around the evolving battleground, ducking under an half-empty whiskey bottle thrown with too much eagerness, the Crow adding fuel to the fire by betting both with the resuscitated Oghren _and _the Golem, while the _real _dwarfette Warden joined the fray with a sparkling roar of laughter.

' _And I thought we had gathered all the crazy-heads on the market at the time'_

A shrill giggle and muffled words caught Varric's attention, making him divert from the intended path among the tents. Casting a quick glance at the edge of the clearing, he spotted Junior and Daisy under refreshing shadow of a grand oak, he resting his head on her lap and eating a cookie from her fingers, one lost in the eyes of the other.

_'What adorableness... twins without a doubt Junior, grimace or not'_

'_Love is in the air... and cheese, damn cheese' _

An effective tent-entrance-flap later and Varric bumped right into the Warden-Commander. Both curse under their breath, one holding his nose and the other his chest, while muffled laughter fills the enclosed air stinking with cheese and cinnamon and mint.

"I _just_ said I liked my nose where it stands, Commander"

"Says the one who plucked a hole in my chest. And come on, it's not like we are _still_ on a title-basis Varric"

"As you wish, _Prince_ Alistair"

"I hate you"

"Wait until you see the others, Wardens and not, all feasting on that Amaranthine cheese"

"I _really _hate you now" With a People-mock-me-and-hide-my-socks tent-flap, Alistair vanished in the twilight-covered world.

"That man and his _cheese_" chuckled the white-haired short woman in the ancient elvhen armour, dangling her feet from the rough plank serving at a meeting table. Varric politely kissed her knuckles and shot her a dazzling smile.

"My Lady Amell - or is it Theirin now? You look stunning, even for a mage such as yourself"

"Oh, you flatterer!" mock-swooned the woman "It's always Mavis for you. And I wouldn't dare rob my sweet cousin of your company one moment longer" She added, shooting a glance over her shoulder before disappearing at her husband's heels.

Varric tapped his fingers on the plank, mimicking a jolly tune so often he had heard at the Hanged Man. The last woman in the tent doesn't raise her eyes from the worn map outstretched before her, following borders long faded from history with a sharp fruit-knife.

"Serpico will be here in no more than a couple of weeks, along with Sister Nightingale"

"Leliana"

"What?"

"Sister Leliana, Nightingale was just a mock"

"Whatever".

Silence spread between them and the jolly tune ceased. Varric moved on the other of the board to Hawke's side and the cinnamon aroma irradiating from hers. Sweat dampened her raven black hair on her brow despite the cold breeze playing with the hems of the tent outside. Her sky-blue eyes remained intent on the map.

"We have been here for too long" she utters

"They won't find us"

"I tell you it has been too long, we should move"

"We should stay still and await for that Nevarran prankster and his oh-so devout fiancée. I like her hair"

The shadow of a pout lingered on Hawke's lips for a moment, but disappeared under her mule-stubborness in the blink of an eye. The odd lock did not hide the black bags under her eyes from his inquisitive glance.

"Maybe they have followed you"

"Maybe Red and Rivaini have become best friends while I was away"

The corner of her lips lifted in a smirk.

"They _are _the best of friends, Varric"

"And women swoon over my chest hair. _And _you need to take your eyes off that map and rest"

His gloved hand reached up for her chin and gently turned her face to look into his. Her eyes sparkled and darted over his features in half-stupor, like she had never seen him before that very moment, before Hawke broke in a full-hearted smile and flung her arms around his neck, drawing the breath out of his lungs and burrowing her face into his shoulder.

"I thought I would never see you again" she muttered

"Oh, woe is me. My Lady Hawke thinks I cannot bullshit my way through some dim-witted Chantry Seeker!"

"Jackass" She lifted her face from his shoulder and rested her forehead against his, her warm, spiced breath making the hair on the back of his neck stand on full attention.

"You chipped Alistair's cheese yourself, didn't you?" he teased

"You will have to make do, Paragon of Manliness"

Varric chuckled, then saw the serious look Hawke was giving him, her eyes wide as the sky they took after, threatening to wipe the mischievous grin from his lips.

"Did you tell them everything?" she asked in a low whisper, the huskiness kept aback by the roaring storm her mind was delving into. Varric did not answer, nor he did roll his eyes. The mischievous grin only widened and the dwarf scooped the Champion of Kirkwall up in his arms with surprising ease, earning a little, _feminine_ yelp of surprise.

He sweetly laid her down on her bedroll, ignoring the hands pushing against his chest with half-hearted vigour and dwelling in the blond curls, the pools that were her eyes darkened by lust, her skin warm and sensitive against his touch. Varric eager burrowed his head into her hair while his hands traced small circles over her tights and followed the line of her back and low, soft moans escaped her parted lips.

"Not everything" he whispered into her ear with a wicked smile "I didn't tell them about _us_"

* * *

AN: _Something that had been rocking my brains for the whole afternoon and I just deiced to let it go Frozen-style. I know I have read somewhere that there was supposed to be this post-ending scene where a romanced-Varric meets Hawke and says the exact words my Varric has here, plus I hadded a LOT of cameos from Canon and Uncanon characters. Serpico is my OC from my ff "Redemption in the Gray", as well as Mavis Amell, a DAO adaptation I am working on_

_Fenris' and Anders' absence will be explained sometimes later, maybe in a one-shot maybe in a future adaptation of DA" following Redemption in the Gray (ah-ah). What can I say, de gustibus non disputandum est._

_P.S. Hawke doesn't have a name simply because I haven't decided on it yet ^-^_


End file.
